Button.

A friend in need and a big brother behind my shoulder,
Stars shone out while we spoke.
You made me laugh and smile
And you had your special smile
Only for me.
You watched over and for me.
You healed me wounds and fears
You were something more,
And when years have faded away
Misunderstood gestures and words
Looking back, tears paint the canvas today.
I miss you so bad, button.
There isnt anything I want more,
but a life time of what it was.

My man

My man, 

Has the twinkle in his eye.

A charming face, and

An apple of everyone's eye.

My man 

The cutest of the paunch, 

The chubbiest of cheeks.

The strongest of arms,

The softest lips.

My man,

Jungle all through,

Handsomest of men,

Cutest, Intelligent

The envy of menfolk.

My man,

The center of attraction.

My man 

You are.

Everything of this,

And more. :)

I wish you were dead.

I was your own

Your own blood.

I was from you, 

And I was your daughter.

You never saw that.

Power and Sex

Money and Position

Mistakes that stuck

Stabs to the family.

You never saw that.

You woke me up

Dead of the night

Phantom of darkness

One blow and Another,

My every tear

I paid for mistakes 

I never made

You never saw that.

I was you own, 

You never saw me as one

You wanted me gone,

For every night you are alive

I now wish you were dead.

Darkest of Nights

When I Close my eyes

and Pull upon a long lost day dream

In the Darkest of Nights

As the coldest draft of wind 

Grazes my face,

You whisper my name.

As I lie in your arms,

A perfect Fit.

The smell of your hair

The washed in Deo and Sweat.

I bathe in the moon light,

Naked to the soul,

With your hands by mine.

The Stars twinkle at us,

Sworn to our common secret.

In the Darkest of the nights,

In the whisper of my eye lashes,

Your name,

Your face.

Us.

The First Dance

                                          She smiled at him.
                            For the first time, him, her husband.
                                He looked deep into her eyes.

"My wife", he whispered, "I love you"

A shiver went up her spine.

Her soul held a breath.

He pulled her closer,

Guiding her to the centre.

All eyes on them.

One two and three,

Together they danced,

Mister and Missus.

For the very first time.

He held a hand, one to her hip,

Brushed her lips, small peck.

They turned and smiled to the faces.

He was hers.

She was his.

Fear.

Do you know what fear is ?

I do.

It is when you close your eyes

As the blow comes down on you.

It is when you stumble down in pain

When the next one comes.

                       

Your head spins about.

You know he's not done yet.

I look at his eyes.

I see my face, in fear.

I see his face,

I see no fear.

The wronged, the innocent.

Objectification of fear.

Held inside social coils,

Devoid of escape.

Some days I close my eyes, 

Open them back again in fear,

See him standing above me,

Slap.

Somedays I lock my doors, 

crawl into the quilt.

The rattle of the door knobs.

Fear.

And then he whispered into my ears.

There was the crowd, The smoke, and the divine smells of the temple.

And then his fingers found mine,

He looked mischievously adorable

He had the twinkle in his eye

He whispered ever so Softly,

I love you.

I skipped , And my heart swooned.

And I was speechless.

And I swooned again

-Swoon-

And then he held me safe, As the crowd pushed along.

And just when I thought it was complete,

He leaned in and with the kiss of a whisper

"I love you"

And it was complete.

More than just complete.

I may be a dumbarse, I may not know how to tell it right back to you,

No I just dunno.

I may not tell it to you, But I love you.

And everytime, And always, I swoon :)

And I smile now.

You make me feel complete.

And I am your dumb arse. :)

Daddy's Little Girl.

Dear dad.

Once upon a time there was a little girl...

The father's little girl.

He carried her around everywhere.

Drove her in his bike

Bought her chocolates flowers and games.

He hugged her and made her feel safe.

I love you my lil princess he said.

Pink yellow blue and white

Flowers and frocks

Holidays and piggy back rides.

She used to feel safe

She looked up to her big daddy

It was a long time ago

I wanna be like daddy she used to tell everyone.

The days ran by,

she was no longer just a lil girl

daddy's little girl was no longer in his shell

the distances grew and sparks flew ahead.

Spitting fire and Hitting words

Blood and bones.

Scars and wounds.

Just as it happened was it over

He was back again with the smile

But,She searched for reasons

She looked for clues,

Everywhere

Leaving no stones unturned

and then it came

As she stumbled on it.

A secret sworn to a friend.

A secret that changed the life.

Battles and banishes.

He was no longer who she looked upto.

Shame came her when she remembered she wanted to be like him

Nay.

Not in this life.

Distances became greater than the bridges length

Regret?

Nay,

Disappointed words and thoughts haunt,

The memories of the past,

are merely a shadow of happy and yearning tears.

Today-Cheesomantic.

Dear Diary,
Today was beautiful, and that was because of You.
Home is where we belong, and that's you,
Perfection, is an Illusion ,
But Warmth of the illusion isn't.
'Twas You
'Twas Me.
'Twas We.
'Twas us.
'Twas simple, and Happy.
There was too much cheese in the popcorn, or maybe so were we, Chees-o-mantically awesome and way to good looking to be wasted, period.
Damn you :)
Dear diary, maybe you are lucky, because I am telling you first, or maybe I am lucky.
But, 'Twas warm, and lovely.
Maybe I should have done more justice to the post, But Nay, I am too happy and wasted from the happiness, that I rather cling on to that than make a literary excursion.
And now , I finally sleep, with peace, and a smile and a stupid grin in pasted to my face.

The Unnecessary Book mark.

Young and Carefree, Soulful joy.

Hand in Hand, Head on your shoulders, 

A drive Down the Lonely Winding Road, 

Sublte Rain washing against the windows.

Your Lips Utter my name

Your eyes Search deep inside mine.

The sparkle, The dimple, The Miracle 

The Sweet scents and The cold air.

The Cosy Couches.

Deep and Long 

Love and Insight and your lust.

Once upon a time

A love story of a life time.

A book mark today.

Unnecessary Taint in my life.

Once upon a time, 

A laughter so light.

Today the fearful tears of Trepidation.

Once upon a time

A photograph of joyous smiles.

Once upon a time, An icecream

A medicine for sickness and care.

A sip of water and the warmth of your hugs.

The passion for a life time

The lights of the night.

Colors and Happiness.

Amazing and Beautiful, 

To me, 

And to you, 

Nothing.

Today,

A marked mistake.

And a faithless promise broken.

Traitors Unsheathed 

A wolf in sheep's clothing.

A watchful stalker.

A reminder of the broken dream.

Once upon a time 

The dance of Love

And the Words of faith

Trusting smiles and times.

Once upon a time.

A Lie, a mistake.

And A broken arrow.

Blood and rapid breaths.

And I fall asleep, In your arms,

Only in my dreams.

The unnecessary book mark.

You.

Good Riddance. 

The Drug

The drug that I took ,

Each day, the evilness associated with it,

The high and the low. 

Ah the painfulness to it.


The evil I never realised, The clinginess I had.


Slap on my face when reality strikes.


Oh the slap.

Alas I know Where I stand , I gave everything, to be 

a  subordinate, to be replaced, to be 2nd fiddle.

For love I gave everything , for love and for friendship


To be showered with disrespect.


Alas I destroyed everything I had, without realising.


And then the skies came crashing down on my head.


Ride above the waves.

Rain and the Dream

A beautiful Hindi Song plays in my head as the dream opens up in my mind's eye.

A dream , A memory.

The gentle rain falls across the window, and the darkening lights in the window  in the perfect white house, 

Our perfect white house.

 A dream that transcends into a memory.

I smile a little as you bring me coffee, And I fall back into your arms as you snuggle me in.

Your beard scratching against my hair, gentle, A welcome touch.

The warmth of your hands, and the coffee, the rainy weather, A drug to my soul.

The streets are empty, The cold lashing rain falls against us,

I shiver, You hold me closer.

You kiss me with the warmth of your love,

You kiss me in the rain

 Hold my hand and carry me away, To our magical place.

I lay next to you, Cuddled up in your arms, naked,

Watching you sleep, The rain still pours on.

Its cold outside, but it's as warm as it can be, in our little cocoon that we created.

I lay asleep in your arms, you smile at me and fall back into my rising chest , falling into a sleep.

A protective embrace

A dream, A memory.

HE-DEDICATED POST.

What happens when something as phenomenal as this happens in your perfectly awesome monotonous life?
Hit me like a wave of surprise and I sat down just by the sheer possibility of the words.
You almost have no idea, despite the obviousness to it, and you just sit there in shock, shock or maybe surprise due to the pleasantness of it.
And when my head finally clears up, I am blushing and mulling over everything like a typical girl does.
This time, Maybe I expect a little more, and give a lot more, but slowly.
Quoting from somewhere I read
"This time it's just not the warmth of a man I expect, but the strength of his shoulders and the loving arms of a friend who will stand by me and hold me for eternity , If need to be."
The future holds in it's murky realms, mysteries and We never really know what happens next.
"But , If there is hope, and If luck favors me, And if I deserve it, I will make it work, not back down, knock out the whole universe for him, until I am bald with no hair and can't go to the bathroom myself."

The blue bird.

Every once a while as I take a leisurely recline in  my balcony sipping hot coffee,  I see him.

I see the lonely blue bird, perched on the bare chocolate brown branches of the mango tree.

Its always the same branch, the same bare leafless branch.

He sits the for hours together , for no apparent reason and disappears just like how he came.

And again, I might be able to see him a fortnight later.

Give me an answer , Dear blue bird.

Who may you be?

You stare at me, to my eyes

A strong and unyielding stare,

With those perky eyes of yours.

Who may you be?

And what do you think ,

As you sit on that branch?

Touch your heart and tell me

What do you seek?

How Old are you?

I've seen you since I can remember,

Oh blue bird,

Who may you be.

Maybe you tell me a signless message

Stark blue feathers

and the Red lining around your throat.

Yellow big eyes.

I remember you,

Always will.

I watch you fly as I take another sip.

Melancholy soul.

I know you'll be back.

Life As We know it, Changes

Its been three years now..
And college has left some special memories in my heart..
Everyday the amount of fun we had,
The way we lived together, had fun, cried, made fun of each other..
Every moment down the memory lane, was just amazing, and beautiful milestones in our lives.
Life has to take a turn now, and all of us have to leave to find our own paths, for a while atleast.
In this moment, tears beckon my eyes..
For all of you, who have been there for me in these three years thank yu :)

And for a few very special people, here is what i have to say

Divyashri, I found someone very special in you, and to yu, i dont have to say anything for yu to understand, and our silences and our giggles, speak more than anything else for us.
I will miss yu, and i will come up thr and visit yu and Everytime i go anywhr, ill remember our special dates, and get aways :)

Gayathri Vasu, You are someone special in your own way, and yu have carried me forward during some of my difficult days,I do remember the times when we could complete each others sentences.
for being my support, thanks Nannu :)

Preethima, you are someone to whom i can tell anythng and run to whenever i wanna shout in joy, or scream in anger or cry in despair,
You have always been thr, and your veetu sapadu :P sama di
i will cherish our terrace memories,late night conversations, everythin :) and always run right back to you.

Horeb, Thank you for everything horeb, you were a brother, a best frnd and a teacher to me and pushed me sometimes into the right way, you made me do things my way and you were thr for me late into the nights.. thank yu for your shoulder.

Prem, Anna, words fail me, I saw an older brother in you, someone who i always wanted all my life...you are someone i look upto, someone with so much loyality, love and patience to give everyoe.
I dunno how wil be without seeing your moonjie for one year, i really dont wanna do it Prem.

@Trishir,
Mera pyyar :P
12.30 in the nite, i can call you and bug yu and yu would still put up with me.
I love your winks and yu genuinely care, what more do i need to say :)
And I know down the line, yu'll always be thr.

Adithya, You are very special , very :) Thanks for all those days yu let me cry on your shoulders like a cry baby. thanks for your jokes, and yes yu are special , i don need to tell yu more, yu know what i mean :)
and one day am marrying u :P XD

Vignesh, You touch my heart in beautiful ways, I will miss you ootivitufying me , i will miss pulling ur legs, i will miss coming and delivering thayir sadam with tomato pickle to ur house,ill miss comin over to yur place whenever i want to, and i dont want yu to leave me and go :/

Kaviya, Some people, touch our hearts and leave their marks on us.
I love hugging and sleeping with you :)
and i just love the way yu care and make me feel, thr are many moments i fell in love with the person yu are..and i always will hold your hand forever,ask preethu what i told.

Juno, I love the way yu scold me, hug me and make me feel good and cared for.
You my dear , yu know how to press the right buttons to make me listen to you :)
No one can replace yu Juno ^_^
I love yu

Subhashree, awas :)
Never seen anyone who can make others feel special like you do.
the way yu care, is on a whole different level, even in your sleep.
I see a mother in yu, a sister in yu, and lots of love in your eyes.
Selflessness.

@Harinee, Your hugs are the best, :)
They are warm and sweet and they carry me forward, we had our special moments, and ill always cherish 'em ^_^

@Geethanjali-
I dont know what it was, But i loved the smiles we exchanged, the twinkle o your eyes, and the caring words :)
The cup you gave me ?
I am having my coffee in it, even now :)

Thank Yu all
-hugs and kisses- ♥ ♥
Imma going to miss yu guys :'( 

The guy.

Come to think of it, as I was minding my own business, bam comes along "The guy"
Something here didn't seem right, but something here was nevertheless too much to ignore.
What does a guy mean when he says lets take a fcuking break?
Now man, one of your own gender asked me to bitch slap the idiot across the face.
Now , Under normal circumstances, I would agree with my best "gay" friend in order, but this apparent "Guy" seems to have a soft spot in mind and I stare back yawning, "Dei enna da panna?"

Now again, Lets be friends, come to think of it, I give you everything cheesy and I get that, Hit me with a tanker and I'll go gladly.
Oh "The guy" Is more than cheesy.
But godamn you, I dont like the things you come and tell me,
Pray I understand, I am not a bambling bafoon, But down the line, my brain's gone into a permanent fuck it mode, and now I really don't know what to say to these men.
What does it mean it. Godamn you.

It drives me crazy. And the unsettling guy, is blissfully unaware, making me wanna throw a stone at him, possibly the influence of merlot.
Oh well.
Some days, and all days, Fuck it

To build To destroy

Life has always played its morbid sense of a humorous joke at me.
You Believe in something, someone, you put all your efforts, love, trust and hardwork into something and truly believe things are going to work out, and then a little glass shard pops out of now where to tear everything apart.
The linchin pin.
One small piece of truth, or lie, or miscalculation and the world spirals down
Things escalate and before you know it,
Its over.
It's done
And You are standing on empty ground, Unmistakably alone with the broken pieces.
What do you do ?

Butterfly's Kiss - Dedicated post.

Dedicated post.

You know when you gently hold a butterfly in your hands and it kisses you before it flies away?

Maybe like that.

Its curious and light.

I love the strength in your eyes and hands and maybe the attitude.

Hold my hand :)

Listen to my voice, and be curious.

Keep wanting.

But, that's all i will leave you to ponder on.

You would never ask, and neither will i tell you.

Find me in the warmth of the sun 

And in the coldness of the rain

Sit beside me in silence, and

That's all 

I'll let you ponder, And be curious.

And maybe i may fly away like the butterfly

Or just stick around.

And maybe tell you more.

And for the rest of you, 

I won't tell you who :)

Silent tears

I lie asleep clutching the blue red pillows

You would remember them

And the memories Hit me back.

I stifle and wipe a tear,

My body arches forward, 

Unable to take the pain

I moan into the pillow, 

Wet tears staining them.

Lost, and confused, 

Ghost of your smile and hands.

I remember them

Only very vividly.

Lost in my tears.

Unable to switch off my emotions

Alas sleep evades me my love.

Impact.

Once upon a time

A year ago

A few mistakes ago

I found you, and you found me .

Memories and flashes

Ghost of the reality 

and Thats all that comes back.

Ever.

Never him, Never more , never less.

Whirlwind of emotions

Life is a grey kaleidoscope of images

I fell hard, You stepped back 

Its not the words you said , 

Its not the way you looked

Its the way you made me feel.

You were more, and less, and everything.

I fell hard, on the ground.

Impact.

It moved too fast,

Over and done, Blinded in the darkness.

Suffocated,

memories and flashes come back 

But never You.

The love of my life.

Thank you Taylor Swift