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Sunday, 24 February 2013

We Loved, We lost.

We Loved, We lost.
It was difficult, we fought like a married couple, but deep deep down, somewhere and always, I thought we were there for each other.
There was, Is this Un-breakable thought "What ever happens, we are for each other and always"
You know that empty feeling in the stomach you have when you have a free fall ?
I cry at times, I think of the happy times, the simple and sweet times, when the touch of my hand would light up your face and a whiff of your scent were sweet reminders that you were close to me,
The blueness of your hoodie still keeps me safe with the two pretty pillows that i always wanted from you.
I remember ironically the last time was the first time i asked anything from you.
I hold on to my phone, checking your last check in time into whatsapp, wondering if you had blocked me yet, confused about where it all went wrong.
Unable to break away from the thought, When everything is over you will be back to me.
But i do not know if until then i can handle the free fall, The emptiness everytime i reach out to that spot in my mind.
I delude myself at times still believing we are together.
I replay all the times we had,all the cute little smiles you gave me , how you used to look at me and you calling me "princess"
Lowest blow ever.

These moments are dark, and when i get out of them i do not know who i will be , but i know i will still love you, but i am afarid to take a step forward, i am afraid to look backwards, your words hurt me, badly.
You looked me in my eye and told me you didnt love me.
I cried, You saw.
I was lost...
You looked lost, I knew something was up... all the love we had wouldn't just go somewhere, i had faith.
Maybe you are just no alright now, But you punish me instead.

I wake up some mornings, feeling strong , 60 seconds later it's free fall and the sun damps.
nights are the worst, we used to talk everyday and believe in some many things, for now all is lost.

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